Episode 36: Irrelevant after 40

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Terri and her producer Jacqueline sit down on MLK Day over an Aviation cocktail to talk about how women over the age of 40 are so often perceived as irrelevant and yet based on their life experience, emotional connectedness, and the shifting needs of their kids (they are needed less), that this is the perfect time to stand more in who they are to become their best possible selves.   

Show Highlights 

  • Terri loves to participate and attend events organized by women because they tend to send home goodies as parting gifts. 

  • Terri and Jacqueline talk about how their kids are being more difficult and angsty; Jacqueline’s daughter Julia is stepping into her own and is encountering resistance with Jacqueline and her other daughter Naomi.  Terri is experiencing something similar with her daughter Rachel and they are both struggling with the shift.   

  • Jacqueline talk about the importance of recognizing when others are disrupting the pattern and shifting with the pattern disruption. 

  • Terri talks about how hard she works to have a better relationship with her children as they go through their teenage years and her need to have a more harmonious situation than she had with her parents.  

  • Terri talks about how hard it is to redefine who she is as her kids need her less and as she ages and is often overlooked or dismissed because of her age and appearance 

  • They talk about an article that came out citing that women over the age of 50 have so much to offer when starting up a company 

  • Jacqueline talks about having known some women over the age of 40 who knew what they wanted and stood tall with who they were; she had good role models for aging 

  • Jacqueline talks about how scary it is as a parent to let go of managing your kids and letting them figure it out on their own.   

  • As their kids are getting older, and are pulling away, it is acting as a great reminder to let go and focus more on themselves.   

  • Jacqueline talks about being a fangirl to marketing consultants instead of popstars 

  • Terri talks about her mentoring at the CSU Biotechnology Symposium students in Santa Clara, CA 

  • Terri talks about how often she gets dismissed in her investing work when people find out her degrees are from a Cal State school and expressed thanks to Neil Stanley for commenting that he wonders how anyone could ever dismiss her.  

  • Terri talks about how she is proud of being a helicopter pilot, being a Tesla early adopter and how she often uses these things when she isn’t grabbing the attention of others in her work and investing.  The men perk up when they otherwise dismiss her.   

  • Terri shares her conversation with her friend Eva who is a new mom and who is concerned about being able to contribute to the women’s movement at the same level and Terri reminded her that her focus needs to be on raising her child and eventually she will have time to give back at the level that she wants. She reminded Eva that there are ebbs and flows to the time that is available to contribute at more extensive levels. And that creating good members of society is an important role in society. 

  • Jacqueline talks about how being a parent is a boot camp for other things in life.  

  • Terri talks about how as parents we have to get outside of ourselves to learn how to coach, mentor and guide our children so that they know how to think and act independently when they leave the house college.  

  • Terri talks about how she was drunk the first semester of college as a result of her parents having been incredibly strict.  She sobered up her second semester and ended up engaged but not focused on school.  The drug/alcohol options were so limited at that time versus what is available now both in high school and college.   Terri is using the show Grown-ish to feed her information to have conversations with her son Adam.   

  • Terri talks about how we are in this fabulous place of change and we have huge opportunities to make a significant shift.  Jacqueline responded with how we have been focused externally and now we have an opportunity to focus internally.   

  • Jacqueline talks to how important it is to practice compassion as we make this shift    

  • Words of wisdom 

  • Practice radical compassion for yourself 

  • Continue to grow and develop 

  • You are an individual with needs, desires, and dreams and there is going to be an ebb and flow to available time and energy.  Remain in tune with who you are…remain the pilot in your own life regardless of who is in your aircraft.   

  • Terri talks how important it was to her to share her vulnerability over the loss of her friend’s husband over the weekend and how importance it is for her to have her kids see her being vulnerability. Terri continues to strip away the adaptations that no longer serve her and continue to redefine who she is and her own definition of success.  

  • Jacqueline talks about how women are able to process both the emotional and the rational and yet men are not able to do both at the same time.  And men are not able to recognize that women can do both.   

  • Feel free to reach out to Terri and Jacqueline if you need help feeling empowered.   

  • They both send out a little extra love and compassion.  


Call to Action 

If you want to come and co-work with Terri and Jacqueline at Terri’s house in Redwood City. send an email to PilotingYourLife@gmail.com and we will figure out how to make it happen.   


References in the Podcast 

  • Aviation cocktail:  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aviation_(cocktail) 

  • Helsin Gin:  https://www.macwellcreative.fi/helsingin 

  • OP Financial: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/OP_Financial_Group 

  • TheVault:  https://www.thevault.co/ 

  • NAWBO: https://www.nawbo.org/san-francisco-bay-area 

  • Neil Stanley: https://www.linkedin.com/in/neiljstanley/ 

  • Black-ish:  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black-ish 

  • Grown-ish: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grown-ish 



You can follow Jacqueline on Twitter at @jacquelineStee or find her on her website at www.jacquelinesteenhuis.com. 

You can follow Terri on Twitter at @terrihansonmead or go to her website at www.terrihansonmead.com or on Medium:  https://medium.com/@terrihansonmead.  

Feel free to email Terri at PilotingYourLife@gmail.com. 

To continue the conversation, go to Twitter at @PilotingLife and use hashtag #PilotingYourLife.